We found Santa today at the mall. I know there are a lot of impostors out there around the holiday season but I think this guy was the real thing. He smelled like a week's worth of cigarettes and had stripper glitter in his beard. Only a really stressful job like traveling around the world in one night delivering Sing-A-Ma-Jigs would require that many cigarette breaks and strip club visits. For those of you that don't know what a Sing-A-Ma-Jig is, it is an adult toy looking stuffed bear. It is in fact not an adult toy because they have teeth.
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