Wednesday, October 27, 2010

I love you Nicki Minaj

This may be my favorite.

My Favorite Tim and Eric Ever?


Tim and Eric: Bloody Nips - Adult Swim (Official)

Tim and Eric: Pussy Doodles - Adult Swim (Official)

Tim and Eric: Rainn Wilson Video Match - Adult Swim (Official)

Shallow water- full of urine

Piaget's Sensorimotor stage-like a cat's brain!

Platform heels-this slutty girl I saw in the cafeteria today wearing a fedora.

Goldilocks- don't ask, don't tell

Power cords-good for stuff

Dolly Parton-it aint my head that's broken, it's my heart

Dog meat- gordita crunch wrap supreme

February the 3rd- 7 days before my dad's birthday

Conjoined twins- twins in love

Indiana Jones- crystal skulls

Elementary gym class- jerry curls and a dykey lady

Dead bats- more like ding bats

Plastic couch covers- more like get rid of your cat

Pillow talk-a typical weaver sleep over

So Your Cat Wants A Massage?

Tuesday, October 26, 2010


jazz-old dads that like beer
secret sex- Pee Wee Herman
suffrage- Alyse being a dick
geometric skirt- Cry Baby Walker
Xena- Sufjan Stevens
Kathleen Hanna- Alyse's dream girl
timeline theory- Cheetos
gender pay gap- wal-mart
Nacho Cheese dip- public pools?
Bret Michaels- sex god
Arbor Mist Wildberry Wine- SWEET BERRY WINEEEE


Shallow water-
Piaget's Sensorimotor stage-
Platform heels-
Power cords-
Dolly Parton-
Dog meat-
February the 3rd-
Conjoined twins-
Indiana Jones-
Elementary gym class-
Dead bats-
Plastic couch covers-
Pillow talk-

I feel bad about my life for these 2 reasons:
1). I want to live in WA
2). I can't write.

I'm so excited to be Bret Michael's for Halloween. Think about how easy it is to become Bret Michaels. I'm sure it happens to hundreds of men a year.

Alexia wants to play word association, so I guess I will humour her.

what is the first thing that comes to mind when you think of these words:

secret sex
geometric skirt
Kathleen Hanna
timeline theory
gender pay gap
Nacho Cheese dip
Bret Michaels
Arbor Mist Wildberry Wine

Here are my answers:
pizza: all the time, every time
jazz: cooler than me
secret sex: sexi~*~
suffrage: so important
geometric skirt: an outfit that lana wears often
Xena: so hawt
Kathleen Hanna: everything I want to be in life
timeline theory: silly
gender pay gap: pisses me off
Nacho cheese dip: rachel oake's house
bret michaels: sexi~*~*
Arbor mist: cheap, and gross

Halloween 2010

She is so dumb*~*~*

Monday, October 25, 2010

James Tate

is my favorite prose-poet by far. I love this man to death. I saw him recently when he read in Van Allen Hall. He is an old fragile man, with a voice like a Simpsons character. I would describe him more, but I just cannot do him justice.

I would recommend checking him out.

1). Read these poems: "The Cowboy,"

and "like a scarf,"

2). Listen to him read:
"How the Pope is Chosen" Note: this is an old recording, to hear his current voice, find one that is more recent, duh.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010


Quotes I heard today on campus:

"Ohh man, I love fishing more than my grandpappy. I'd go at night if I could!"

"I can't believe I saw everyone at the Skillet concert. When Papa Roach came on stage I saw like, 37 tits."

"One of the things we're going to learn in this chapter is a bed load. Now, if you have a sick mind like I do, you can come up with several jokes for that term."

Sunday, October 17, 2010

i think this is incredibly romantic and artsy.

i hate myself so much. I really, really do.

Friday, October 15, 2010


Dear Whiteface,
Two years ago you were stalking and terrorizing Washington High School. You were dressed up in a full length black cloak filled with knives and your make up was not unlike the Joker's. Although the students that you haunted around this time are gone and away for college, I am still here and I dare you to make an appearance again. I know all about you. I know that you harassed the cross country team after school and you were tackled by a a group of cops. Not only were you rumored to have been screaming profanities, but several knifes were found on you as well. I heard stories of you walking out of the shady liquor store on 1st Avenue into rush hour traffic without even considering the consequences. Students claimed that you were some psycho that forgot to take your medicine and that you're highly dangerous. You seem to think you're dangerous but I have my doubts. I'm convinced you were just a friend of those strange D&D club guys I saw in the woods that Halloween night when I was in hot pursuit to find you doing something illegal and frightening. I don't care who you are, I just want to see you. Heck, if I could snap a picture of you walking to the grocery store or sitting on a bench, I would be extremely satisfied. I went to a haunted house tonight ran by a bunch of goons in latex clown masks half-hoping that you would be inside, but much to my disappointment, you were nowhere in sight. Where have you been? Not only have you been missing so far this year, but you didn't show up last year. Everyday I sat in my strategically placed desk by the window so I could stare out into the courtyard but not once did you show up. After class I would hurry down the filthy flights of stairs and out to the parking lot so I wouldn't miss the day that the notorious Whiteface made his anticipated arrival but the day never came. Halloween speedily came and went and so did my faith in you. After Halloween, classmates claimed to have seen you eating at Applebee's or grabbing a latte a Starbucks without your makeup on which actually kind of pissed me off. Crazed high school student predators/potential murderers aren't supposed to be sitting in a cozy coffee shop during their after hours. They're supposed to be out slaying people or being the old creep watching the children play four-square on the playground. What gives? I suggest that you get your act together and start being weird again because it is almost Halloween night. You have a good couple weeks to get your creep on and make this October one to remember. In a perverted kind of way, I've missed you. Please come back.


I've been..

1). listening to a lot of Mirah lately. I listened to "Monument," and "Jerusalem" and it helped me write 3 pages of my story. Thanks Mirah!

2). Listening to a lot of cocorosie. I just heard their newest song, "Lemonade," it was good.

3). Eating a lot of Hummus. Had lunch at Oasis with my new friend. It was fun.

4). walking by the river a lot.

5). Reading/going to a lot of readings. I went to a reading by Sara Marcus, who wrote a book all about Riot Grrrl. I love that shit. I felt like such a feminist that I almost took off my clothes and danced around.

7). doing lots, and lots of ketamine

Sunday, October 10, 2010


It's October and our trip for this month was to MADISON, WISCONSIN. It was so much fun even though I wanted to kick Sydney out of the car several times. We found a hotel that was one step up from the Motel 6 but had just as many scabies. They advertise their fantasy suites and I plan on going back to spend a night in each room. That way I can stay in Vegas, a cabin, a fisherman's boat, a blue box, and a bug net all in one week! Also, they had a sign that offered mashrooms and donutes. They were displayed on a powerpoint so I don't understand how spell check was ignored so blatantly.

I love Wisconsin. We went to Devil's Lake the next day and it was gorgeous. While in the park, we were stopped by a park ranger because we didn't have a parking pass. The ranger was going to give us a ticket and check to see if I had a warrant out for my arrest but "he was too busy" gosh he was funny. We stopped at a shady cheese shop and Alyse got a pickle big enough to derail a train. My phone started dying so we went to a coffee shop to charge it before the show at 10:30.

We made it to the show even though our GPS (Kevin) was on the verge of death. We went to Revolution Cycles to see Koo Koo Kangaroo and we all had a really good time. Everything about the show was entertaining. Sydney's seizure-like dancing, Alyse's two-step, and the big Native American guy leaning against the support beam were so funny I almost curled up in the fetal position from my laughing pangs. Koo Koo consists of Bryan and Neil and they are SO COOL. Sydney has been talking about the show ever since we left and I don't think she will change out of her mini van shirt for dayz.

We left Madison at midnight and we ended up getting lost thanks to KEVIN. Okay, so it was partially my fault. It started out alright because we knew we were lost but it was kind of funny. But then the roads started to wind and fog appeared. Next thing I knew we were winding through the middle of a forest with cemeteries popping up randomly and we were low on gas and Kevin was low on battery. We had to take a sharp turn on a gravel road which seemed to have a rotting silo right in the middle of it. It was at that point when I was mentally planning out the mass text that I would send out to my loved ones and my old bowling coach. Luckily Kevin kicked it into gear and we got out of there unscathed.

Oh yeah, did I mention that we found this terrifying octopus salad at Whole Foods? Poor babiez.


Alyse's D0rM XOXO