Monday, November 8, 2010

Conifer Smith...

I was seconds away from tearing into my ceramics teacher's old wrinkly flesh with my wordage when I realized that she could get on our blog at any time and read the beginnings of a great rap battle. In order to make sure she would have no way of ever finding my stinging words, I googled a line from our blog to see if it would show up. Yes, it was dumb. Yes I was (am) paranoid. The line I carefully stripped from our site was this sentence: seriously, im so mad at you. FUCK YOU TOO UNIVERSITY STUDENTS, because all you care about are bars.
and this is the first option google gave me: http://www.pointsincase.com/columns/justin/12-11-05.htm.
The article is titled "Ten Things I Don't Understand About Black People." I'm not sure what kind of site this is but I was thoroughly entertained for hours. Another article I found was one titled "How to Be a Drug Dealer" and it suggests that one applies for health insurance AKA "fight protection" before becoming a drug dealing superstar. Last but certainly not least was the blog entry "Alright, Which Asshole Brought Crack to the Coke Party?" by a Mr. Cheeter McGriddle. The best line, "My wife would flip if she ever knew there was crack in our house!" is one I can really relate to.
Well, I would stick around but I have a new article to read. "Dear Black People: Stop Haunting My Dreams" here I come.

P.S. Conifer, I shall bash you another day.

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