Let me show you what I have to deal with every Tuesday and Thursday.

I love having a penis. Its probably the coolest thing ever. I mean, my penis probably hates me after all the shit iv'e put it through, but it can man the fuck up. I mean who hasn't fucked a fat chick when they were drunk? If i didnt have a penis i dont know what i would do. I love my penis.

Porn makes me giggle. I mean, it makes no sense. The plumber shows up and says "Oh hai thurr, im hur to fix yur pipes" and somehow it cuts to the next scene of the chick getting rammed up the ass. Like is "fixing pipes" code for make me not be able to shit right for a week? if thats true, i've been calling the wrong plumbers. And the pizza guy scenario, with the dick in the pizza box. That shits gotta burn doesn't it? I mean i'd be pissed if my pizza was cold, and nod self respecting pizza guy brings cold pizza, lest he not get tipped. So like everyone i love scalding hot pizza. Why in the hell does it seem like a good idea to shove your dick through a fucking blazing ass pizza.

I hate fat people. Now, im not talking about chubby folks, thats cool. Im talking about the huge sweaty, stinky, fat fucks that take up the whole aisle. If you could pitch a tent for a family of four with your damn tshirt, something is wrong. Lose some fucking weight. When people get so fat they cant walk anymore, you should just die. Really. A million years ago our ancestors evolved so we could walk. You just devolved, time to go extinct. Oh, and you smell like ass. I understand you cant wash every back vagina and crevice you have, but seriously, you fucking reak. Get on a damn treadmill. I saw on the news some other day some fuck was so fat he could breathe on his own anymore, so they made a machine do it for him, thats fucking stupid. I think the laws of nature say if you cant fucking breathe you fucking die. Amiright? Also, when a chick is that fat, how do you know where her vagina is? I mean i know you find the wet spot, but that could just be a sweaty thigh fold. I mean nobody likes to have to hunt to find the vagina, thats just retarded.

Alexia Weaver has probably the loosest vagina I have ever encountered in my travels. It also permeates probably the foulest odor know to man, and looks like somebody hit it with a train covered in chainsaws.It also happened to be super hairy, so that was a plus. Some lint was caught in the pubic forest, and I almost vomited. Her asshole, on the other hand, is pure gold. I came buckets.

-Post Written By-

**Casey Shelangoski**