Sunday, September 26, 2010

Strangers with Candy

I have been watching this show all night. I decided to keep track of my favorite quotes.

"You know, I cried when I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. And then I laughed...really hard."

"You're just a rack of bones covered in a thin layer of fag."

"A lot went down in school today. God, I'm really in a k-hole."

Packing a Musket, by Jerri Blank. When you work from your home and johns call on the phone, you're a call girl. When you walk till you limp and give a cut to a pimp, you're a street whore. When they're begging ya "please," to get down on your knees, near their groinage, 'scusa me, but ya see, don't ya touch where they pee, without coinage.

All right, everybody. For tomorrow, I want you to write a history poem on Hiroshima. But nothing too faggy.

Jerri: Mr. Noblet wants me to snitch on a friend.
Jellineck: Snitching doesn’t seem like you, Jerri.
Jerri: Oh, it’s not what you think. It’s not like snitching on a real person. She's--
Jellineck: Gay?
Jerri: Retarded.
Jellineck: Yes, most of them are.
Jerri: Most who are what?
Jellineck: Most gay people are retarded.

Sara: What I'd like to know is, why are there retarded people in school with my daughter?
Principal Onyx Blackman: Mrs. Blank, we're doing our best to weed them out, but some of these retards are extremely clever.

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